I decided to step down from writing on http://www.GamingOnLinux.com and the flood gates have remained open. I am still working behind the scenes on “stuff”, so I’m not completely gone.
First of all thank you to everyone who has supported me, and continues to do so. The emails, PM’s and stuff I’ve been getting have been truly humbling. I’ve never ever seen this much support for myself and GOL it’s really amazing, and if people were this nice every day the internet would be a fantastic place to be. There have been a small minority of people calling me things like a “whiner”, but I’m much more than a whiner. I am just a vocal person who has feelings and needed to speak up about the abuse I’ve been getting over the years that was amplified rather a lot recently.
I am still writing for Linux Voice right now, so that’s great as the guys there are fantastic at what they do, and they don’t participate in this hateful crap ever. All they do is write awesome stuff, do their podcast and attend events. That’s exactly how it should be.
I’ve taken a lot away from it, and I think Phoronix sums it up best:
“*Take valid criticism — both positive and negative — for what it’s worth, and move on. At the end of the day just keep your head high, remain committed to what you believe in, and do your best.* ”
I wish I had Michael’s strength of character. He is also on the end of a lot of it, and I really admire him for continuing on. He does some stupid things like taking quotes from others (including me) without source linking, but apart from that he’s generally awesome, and nice to actually talk to as well.
I’ve blocked the haters, and will keep on blocking people who make idiotic remarks at me on whatever social media website I continue using. I’ve also blocked myself visiting certain websites at the router level, so I’m going to learn to keep myself away from certain communities. Hopefully after a while it will become second nature to me to not even attempt to visit certain sites that I know trash talk me.
When people hurl abuse at you and bring your kids into it you really do have to take a step back and go “wooow wait a minute this is getting out of hand”, and so that’s part of what led me to quit writing on GamingOnLinux. It certainly didn’t help that this year I split from my partner which continues to take its toll on me, but not as much as it did before.
I do wish to return to write for GOL sometime, but what will happen if I do? Who will I be? I imagine certain websites will explode with hate towards me, and as one email put it “wear it as a badge of honour”. I like that idea. If I do return to GOL then I will do so as a stronger person, and to be frank I don’t give a shit what people call me when I do, as it’s still my website, so I can do what I like.
I’m taking a long break that’s for sure, so we will have to see what happens in future, but for now I have this blog to keep me occupied and rant on. Even if no one reads it then it shall just be a place to vent my mind when no one is around, and I like that.
I am human and I make as many mistakes as the next person, so remember that the next time you want to call me names. Here are some choice ones “hypo-cunt”, “whiner”, “baby”, [insert colourful name here].